Navigating Faith, Identity, and the Fight for Marriage Equality | SOM Pride Week Social Impact Lab

In collaboration with Social Impact Lab and SOM Pride Week, we were lucky enough to have Greg Bourke join us to share his experiences in the fight for marriage equality. Greg, who lived in Connecticut for four years and holds an MBA himself, shared his personal journey, which included being a named plaintiff for the landmark Supreme Court case on marriage equality. Bourke detailed his path to the forefront of this pivotal moment in civil rights history, highlighting the powerful intersection of personal conviction, legal action, and the complexities of navigating personal identity within faith communities.

Bourke recounted the 2015 oral arguments for the case that would become Obergefell v. Hodges. He showed a photo of the plaintiffs and attorneys involved, noting the protestors who showed up to contest their effort. Despite this, his experience of the day was overwhelmingly positive, describing it as the "most incredible experience of my life". He recalled a sea of thousands awaiting this decision "who wanted to celebrate, creating a ‘joyful, joyous day’".

The impact of the decision was profound for many, including his family. At the time their children were adopted in 1999, the law in Kentucky only allowed a single person or a married opposite-sex couple to adopt. So Greg’s husband, Michael, was the only legal parent for 17 years. This meant that if something had happened to Michael, the state of Kentucky would have determined custody of their children. The need for security for their family was their primary motivation for pursuing the lawsuit. Following the favorable Obergefell decision, they were able to go through the second-parent adoption process, allowing Greg to become a legal parent as well, and benefiting many other families beyond theirs.

Reflecting on the current environment, Bourke acknowledged the understandable anxieties many may be feeling. The fall of Roe v. Wade and Justice Thomas's suggestion that the court should reconsider other precedents, including same-sex marriage, indicates that the status of marriage equality is somewhat vulnerable. States are introducing legislation to overturn the principles of Obergefell, and some recognize “covenant marriage,” a legal status only open to opposite-sex couples. Despite these challenges, Bourke emphasized the good news: the momentum after Roe, the global spread of marriage equality, and its continued popularity with the public. He encouraged focusing on this trend rather than the small if very vocal minority. He also mentioned the importance of the passage of the Respect for Marriage Act in 2022 which provided additional security for marriage equality – he attended the signing ceremony at the White House.

A significant part of Bourke 's story involved managing his identity and activism within his Catholic faith. Faith has been an important part of his family’s journey, as he attended Mass with his husband throughout their relationship and ensured their children received sacraments and attended Catholic school. When asked about how he reconciled being unapologetically gay and unapologetically Catholic and how that played out in his parish, Bourke discussed his involvement in a stewardship parish for 25 years, which has been very supportive from the beginning. One of the first things he did was schedule a meeting with the pastor to ask if they were welcome, to which the answer was a resounding yes. Their Catholic family in Kentucky were also supportive and welcoming during the court process, choosing to take a position "different from the party line" despite being conservative Catholics, simply because they knew and loved Greg and Michael. He believes there is enough room in the church to disagree with official doctrine and still identify as Catholic, and acknowledged he felt incredibly blessed not to experience the rejection some LGBTQ+ individuals face from family or church.

When asked about his journey to activism, he stressed that they did not pursue the case to be activists but did it for their children, seeking the legal protections afforded to married people. He explained how he reluctantly agreed to be a plaintiff when approached by attorneys, as no one else had stepped forward after many years. Throughout these experiences, his family's support was a critical foundation.

Asked how he chose when to engage or disengage with people and organizations regarding his identity, especially within the Catholic Church and his corporate job, he made an early decision to be openly gay and let things pass. He found that by being open and honest, people treated him with respect. He believes they were able to "change hearts simply by being who we are," and by being visible. Bourke emphasized the importance of leadership and decision-makers decisively supporting these issues. One example in his life was the surprising decision of his Catholic alma mater Notre Dame’s University Press to agree to publish his book, the first pro-LGBTQ+ book in their 100-year history.

Greg’s final advice was to "keep doing what we’re doing; being who you are is being visible," as visibility leads to grace and respect for all.